Coping in financially stressful times

Laguna Beach Independent Dec. 26, 2008

Guest column
The Season for Fresh Starts
By DR. MARION JACOBS

Most of us have taken a hit in the current financial crisis. As with other stressful life events—a house destroyed by earthquake or fire, serious illness, death of a loved one, divorce—there are better and worse ways to cope.
We can face the new economic changes kicking and screaming, which of course only aggravates the situation. A much healthier choice is viewing the economic crunch as a challenge to think outside the box and react creatively. Not surprisingly, research shows that people who approach adversity as a challenge fare much better than people who stay focused on how bad things are and how helpless they feel. Sure, sometimes all of us hear inner voices of doubt and worry. That doesn't mean we have to turn up the volume on those voices, or let them control our decisions.
The best way to deal with stressful times is to assess what options you have in your particular situation and take charge of those things that are in your power to control. Obviously, you can't fix the market, or undo the housing crisis, but of the things that are impacting you, what can you do that is constructive?
The American Psychological Association recently put out a tip sheet titled "Managing Your Stress in Tough Economic Times." Here are some highlights. To read the entire tip sheet go to: http://www.apapractice.org/apo/in_the_news/managing_your_ stress.html
Don't overreact with either panic or passivity to bad economic news. Your best decisions come when you stay calm and focused.
Make a detailed plan with your family for reducing expenses. Write it down. Get everyone to commit to following it. Periodically review the plan.
Avoid responding to financial stresses with unhealthy behaviors like drinking, smoking, gambling, overeating, or arguments with your partner. If you need to, seek professional help.
Turn the situation into an opportunity for growth and personal change. Reset your priorities, spend more quality time with friends and family, exercise, get enough rest, think creatively. What are some new ways to manage the situation? What are some new ways to give meaning to your life?
Get help if you need it from professional financial planners, credit counselors, psychotherapists, support groups.
Some final thoughts for coping with unwanted change: Stay in charge of yourself and your decisions. Keep your eye on where you are heading, not on what has passed. Don't let go of your sense of humor. Stay in touch with supportive people. Pat yourself on the back for taking constructive steps forward. Keep a positive attitude. Keep at it. With New Year's just around the corner, you're in the perfect season for fresh starts.
Marion Jacobs, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Laguna Beach and adjunct professor emerita at UCLA, is author of the self-help book and audio CD, "Take-Charge Living: How to Recast Your Role in Life…One Scene At A Time." Her website is www.takechargeliving. com.